No more happy endings

”And they lived happily ever after. The end.”

Sounds familiar yes, but not quite right. In my opinion there is something twisted in that famous frase, something I don’t agree on. Nor do I think anyone should. Why? I’ll fill you in.

A happy ending is something we are taught to pursue ever since are children. I am not saying you shouldn’t believe in happy endings, because happiness really does exist as in fairytales. However, I am saying that I don’t necessarily believe in happy endings as they are taught. Why is it normal to think that after saying I do comes the end and the rest of our lives is about that ending? Why don’t we teach our kids and more importantly ourselves to believe that in every ending there is a beginning? With all my heart, I believe in happy beginnings. So much so that I named this blog after them. A happy beginning starts the minute something ends.

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It’s all about the mindset. Change your mindset and you’ll able to do anything. Instead of concentrating in the end, whether it is sad, wonderful or something in between, we should focus on the good following the ending. Or the good that followed after the ends in our past. Trust me, I know that in the midst of an ending, especially a bad one, it is hard to see the beginning. At least a happy one. At least, as a Hsp it is hard to see forward when dealing with rollercoaster emotions, as well as it is so easy to lose oneself in sorrow, fear or worry. However, a word of encouragement. A beginning is always there, every single time, even if you don’t see it right away. If you decide to embrace it, it can be so much better than you ever imagined.

On the other hand, waiting for a happy ending to arrive isn’t going to help anyone to enjoy life. My experience has taught me that life isn’t full of endings, it is actually full of beginnings. Since we’re all constantly chasing new goals, it is easy to forget how much we have grown and what amazing effects those endings had on us. When you reach your goal, it isn’t an ending. It is a beginning, a fresh start with new adventures and new you.

If you struggle with constant endings, try this simple exercise. Concentrate on thinking an ending you have encountered. You can choose any ending you like, whether it is a happy one or not. Now, take a deep breath and try to see your ending from another perspective Try to see the beginning in it. What good, new or exciting has followed the ending, what were the things in your life that started from that ending? If you got fired, was that actually a new beginning for your career? If your relationship ended, did you learn something that molded you into that wonderful person you are now? If you said ‘I do’ waiting for a happy ending, start noticing all the greatness that those small words began.

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A new year is the perfect time to teach your brain to seek for beginnings instead of endings. In my opinion there are so many beginnings in life but only one ending, one that hopefully isn’t in sight for many many decades. Although some things end, whether they are relationships, jobs or small everyday things, they are not actually endings. There is a beginning to be found in all of them. And if you can learn to appreciate the opportunities and experiences life is giving you, that beginning can be happy. A true happy beginning.

 

– Kati

 

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