What Ifs

I am sitting in the airport and staring at the digital clock next to the flight schedule. Right this minute the plane was supposed to roll to the runway and take off towards home. But no. Not today ma’am. Due to some technical difficulties, whatever they may mean, the flight has been delayed several hours. No biggie. Except yes biggie. I am how I am. I can already picture how many what ifs my brain can go through in six hours. What if the technical issue hasn’t been fixed properly and something breaks while we are in the air? What if the plane is delayed another six or sixteen hours and I have to cancel important meetings from tomorrow? What if something goes wrong just because everything didn’t go as I planned?

Luckily (and to my husband’s luck who is stuck waiting around with me 🙂 ), during the last month I have analysed my need to play the what if -game more than usual. I have actually come to a conclusion, that I may have found a way to what-if less than before. A few weeks ago, I ran into a song about what-iffing in Spotify, that made me have an epiphany so big I want to share it with you guys. Maybe the lyrics of Kane Brown’s What Ifs make you too relax in an airport’s departure lounge, or wherever you may be.

What if the sky falls or the sun stops burnin' We could worry about them what ifs 'til the world stops turnin' 

Are you one of those Hsp’s who lay awake at night what-iffing every little thing in life? I am, or used to be at least. It has been a habit of mine to what-if my life’s (and everyone else’s life’s) big and small details, day and night. To what-if about the world’s problems and scenarios about a horrendous future as well as what-if about remembering to buy cream from the supermarket. Let me tell you, my lovely co-Hsps, being a what-if sort of person isn’t easy at all. No way. What-iffing day and night slows down life simply because it takes up a huge amount of time and brain capacity.

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End it then, right? Not that easy. Bringing what-iffing to a total stop isn’t a simple task. No-oou. It takes at least the same amount of energy as what-iffing itself, but luckily just a short period of time. Our brain is able to learn new things fairly quickly and, in my opinion, what-iffing is more of a habit than a permanent part of my personality. So, how to stop? I have started to consciously seek everything that is beautiful and good in this world. I have noticed how many remarkably wonderful people live in this planet and how far you can go with a good heart and care for other people.

I agree with Kane Brown that we can sit around waiting for the sky to fall, or we can choose to believe that it doesn’t. We can live passively worrying about every possibly horror we can come up with or we can take matters into our own hands and make this world a place where the sun won’t stop burnin’. The thing is, we need to trust that we can make a difference and that a better way is out there to be discovered.

What if this goes south, what if I mess you up. You say what if I break your heart in two then what

I believe that to many highly sensitive people it’s easy to fall into the trap of what-iffing when it comes to relationships. It’s almost too simple to worry if your good enough, if you do the other person happy and if you have enough in common. On the other hand, having analysing skills of a Hsp may cause a true worry about the other person’s intentions. What if they hurt you, what if they don’t love you, what if it goes south and what if they break your heart? What if being highly sensitive is simply too much for anyone and no one will ever understand?

I ask you, my dear co-Hsp, have you ever considered the other side of the story? What if the person staring you from the other side of the table is actually the one you are meant to be with? What if your first kiss is your last first kiss, since the person you’ve been searching for is right there right now? What if your Tinder date isn’t one to play games but actually wants to hold and kiss you?

Whether you are highly sensitive or not, I promise you that what-iffing the wrong way won’t bring you the happiness you deserve. Negative what-iffing is like a relationship’s third wheel that slowly makes your happiness crumble. If you can’t turn off the what-iffing, try to what-if all the good that can go even better than you hoped for. Try blindly trusting the fact that your heart is not going to be broken in two. It is the only way you won’t cut in in half yourself but are free to give it to someone who truly deserves it. ❤

What if this is it, what if it's meant to be

It is going to take time to start trusting the universe. It took a while with me too, believe me. But the things you are able to achieve by trusting are far better than the things worrying is going to get you. Life is going to serve you the things you believe it will. The earth beneath your feet is going to hold and the roses are just as red as they are in your dreams. Behind the corner the world is even more wonderful than all your what-iffing could come up with and it is filled with things you couldn’t even hope for.

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Don’t let your worries consume you, they don’t deserve the time of day. You see, you are better than you think. And guess what? Life is here and now, and it is meant to be just as wonderful as you create it.

What if I loved all these what Ifs away?

 

Love,

Kati

 

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